Hello Again 👋
TLDR: I'm planning on writing on my personal blog again 🙌
It's been over 5 years since I've written anything in my blog.
Too many things had happened over the last couple of years and I had to take a step back and focus on other things that were happening: personal life, work, etc.
Here are some highlights:
Being my own boss
By late 2018, I wanted to work for myself. And so I've left my job and tried to start my own business. The plan was to build products and work some freelance/consulting gigs to put food on the table.
It didn't go as planned (especially the consulting gig which was supposed to be my only source of income at that time).
But on the bright side, I learned that I could survive on my own without any job but felt it was not the right time to continue doing (9-5 become, 9-11+ 😂)
Joining a SaaS company
After careful consideration, I joined a SaaS company where I believed that I could learn things that I wanted to know at that time.
Coming from a small startup, It took me a couple of months to adapt to that company and I was not happy about my performance at that point in time so I decided to put all my focus+energy into it (so no side project, blog, etc)
And that year went on like that. And I've improved and got back to zone again.
Towards the end of the year, I was kind of happy with my work and personal life.
Dark times
When life seems to be rainbows and sunshine, it has crumbled down irreversibly in 2020
I lost someone who meant everything to me. The one person for whom you would trade your life without even blinking.
It's not something that I can describe in words. And I was so down that I didn't know what's the point of even living
Work had become my drug to forget about the harsh reality. I know it's a toxic thing to do but I didn't know how to handle it otherwise. Maybe it's my way of dealing with grief.
At work, I moved to a different team right around that time. Slowly but steadily, I was being recognised for my work, getting a better rise & promotion, etc.
I was so down, that I felt empty even when I'm supposed to be extremely happy (when my kid was born)
It was right around the time when the entire world was kind of locked down due to COVID-19.
To put fuel in the fire, it made my mental state even worse. No one knows what will happen next and we had to live in constant fear of getting COVID.
We were extremely careful, but somehow ended up having COVID.
My entire family got COVID and we were down. And one of my family members needed medical attention. Thankfully, we were able to get the medical attention that we wanted and I don't want to think what would have happened otherwise.
There were so many back-to-back negative things that had happened, I don't want to talk about and be so gloomy.
So many months went on and it's kind of blank for me. I've stopped writing journals since it was kind of negative anyway and I don't want to relive the emptiness moments anyway.
Family First
My kid and family were primarily the only thing that helped/helped me to get out of this rut.
I intentionally took a step back and tried to live in present and I don't want to miss the precious moments in life just because I'm sad.
By precious moment, I'm talking about my kid who is growing up. It's so magical even if you are depressed like there is no tomorrow.
And started working on getting back into my zone like learning new things, writing tech blog posts, side projects, etc.
And just like that here we are in the present (after 5+ years)
So what next?
Well, as with anything in life, I'm figuring things out and I hope things will be good.
Did I stop thinking about my own business? No, It is still in my mind and I don't think I will give that up. (12-year-old me will kick me to death if I do so 😅)
It was in the back seat for quite some time but I'm slowly making progress towards it without getting burned out.
What about my day job?
To be honest, it's going well. At the moment, I get to work on really interesting things like building AI apps, etc.
The most dangerous things are heroin and a monthly salary
And yeah, I'm well aware of Naval Ravikant's quote and golden handcuffs associated with day job
How do I stay updated with what you're doing?
I plan to start writing weekly/monthly newsletter (again 😅) but right now, you can follow my progress over at WIP.co
Footnote
I had this blog post in draft for months. It sounds like something too personal and I was not sure about posting it online altogether.
But what's the point of having personal blog if I don't talk about personal stuffs? Both good and the bad (real struggles).
For the time being, I plan on writing more blog post like this.